Why am I doing this?
Ahem. *taps the mic* It's a little dead in here!
I should hope so, it's my first actual post. I somehow got 16 hits all over the world with my test post, so.... I'm not sure what that's all about! Anyways, I'm here, and I'm here to stay. I'm going to put it all out there and see what happens. It's a little scary, but good. I intend to start taking ballet classes again, with hopes of taking pointe at some time in my adult life. I always loved dancing as a child and teenager, and I am kicking myself for quitting. I want that back! I need something to do that is good for me.
I'm the Frumpy Ballerina. Just a joke, but a little true. My mom enrolled me in ballet and tap classes as a 3 year old, and I danced for 15 years of my young life. I took some time off to do show choir and marching band while in high school, but I always had some form of dance in my life until I graduated and went to college. I'm 6'1, which is huge for a female, let alone the classical ballerina size range when I was taking dance, so I didn't consider taking dance in college or attempting to go professional.
I took one year of music education in college, and then I had a major life event which left me pregnant. Pregnancy ruined my body with stretch marks and flabby skin, hence the "frump". In addition to the frump, I have also yo-yoed with my weight in the 5 years since I've had my daughter. I'm currently at my heaviest and it scares me. I'm only 25 years old, I shouldn't be this out of shape and out of sync with life.
Pre-pregnancy I was at a slight 140 lbs. It would mean rolls for someone of tiny dance stature, but as someone who is all legs, I was very very skinny. I got up to about 210 lbs while I was pregnant, but got back down to about 150 right away after giving birth. I ended up placing my daughter for adoption (which is an entirely different blog of its own), which spun me into a spiral of intense depression and self loathing. The only thing I had to show for creating a life is the awful stretch marks, which will never go away. I accept this fact, but it's taken 5 years to be okay with it.
My depression caused me to fluctuate intensely in weight in the last 5 years. I lost it right away, and then I ate the shit out of my feelings, getting up to about 190 within a year of having my daughter. I started working at a horse farm and fell into an eating disorder partially because I was teaching lessons, doing chores, and training horses 16 hours a day, all I did was drink water. I lost 30 lbs in 3 months, slimming down to 160, which looked great on my changed body.
When I quit the farm job, I moved home and had no purpose again, so I ate my feelings. 3 years later, here I am. My life has changed drastically and I no longer consider myself depressed. I weigh 209 lbs as of right this second, and my body disgusts me. If the frump wasn't present, my body would have a decent shape despite being so heavy because of my height. I'm here to change that.
There are a few resources out there for people wishing to return to dance after some sort of hiatus, but I want to not only help with ballet exercises you can do at home, but show my progress over time and document my experiences. It keeps me honest, too.
So, thanks for visiting, hopefully this will get interesting over time! Read through my blog to learn what it's like to return to ballet after a long hiatus, or start ballet as an adult. Maybe you'll get some inspiration to dust off the old leotard and tights. What do you have to lose? What do I have to lose? Weight? Lol. Ok, that I can deal with. Want to join me?
-FB
I should hope so, it's my first actual post. I somehow got 16 hits all over the world with my test post, so.... I'm not sure what that's all about! Anyways, I'm here, and I'm here to stay. I'm going to put it all out there and see what happens. It's a little scary, but good. I intend to start taking ballet classes again, with hopes of taking pointe at some time in my adult life. I always loved dancing as a child and teenager, and I am kicking myself for quitting. I want that back! I need something to do that is good for me.
I'm the Frumpy Ballerina. Just a joke, but a little true. My mom enrolled me in ballet and tap classes as a 3 year old, and I danced for 15 years of my young life. I took some time off to do show choir and marching band while in high school, but I always had some form of dance in my life until I graduated and went to college. I'm 6'1, which is huge for a female, let alone the classical ballerina size range when I was taking dance, so I didn't consider taking dance in college or attempting to go professional.
I took one year of music education in college, and then I had a major life event which left me pregnant. Pregnancy ruined my body with stretch marks and flabby skin, hence the "frump". In addition to the frump, I have also yo-yoed with my weight in the 5 years since I've had my daughter. I'm currently at my heaviest and it scares me. I'm only 25 years old, I shouldn't be this out of shape and out of sync with life.
Pre-pregnancy I was at a slight 140 lbs. It would mean rolls for someone of tiny dance stature, but as someone who is all legs, I was very very skinny. I got up to about 210 lbs while I was pregnant, but got back down to about 150 right away after giving birth. I ended up placing my daughter for adoption (which is an entirely different blog of its own), which spun me into a spiral of intense depression and self loathing. The only thing I had to show for creating a life is the awful stretch marks, which will never go away. I accept this fact, but it's taken 5 years to be okay with it.
My depression caused me to fluctuate intensely in weight in the last 5 years. I lost it right away, and then I ate the shit out of my feelings, getting up to about 190 within a year of having my daughter. I started working at a horse farm and fell into an eating disorder partially because I was teaching lessons, doing chores, and training horses 16 hours a day, all I did was drink water. I lost 30 lbs in 3 months, slimming down to 160, which looked great on my changed body.
When I quit the farm job, I moved home and had no purpose again, so I ate my feelings. 3 years later, here I am. My life has changed drastically and I no longer consider myself depressed. I weigh 209 lbs as of right this second, and my body disgusts me. If the frump wasn't present, my body would have a decent shape despite being so heavy because of my height. I'm here to change that.
There are a few resources out there for people wishing to return to dance after some sort of hiatus, but I want to not only help with ballet exercises you can do at home, but show my progress over time and document my experiences. It keeps me honest, too.
So, thanks for visiting, hopefully this will get interesting over time! Read through my blog to learn what it's like to return to ballet after a long hiatus, or start ballet as an adult. Maybe you'll get some inspiration to dust off the old leotard and tights. What do you have to lose? What do I have to lose? Weight? Lol. Ok, that I can deal with. Want to join me?
-FB
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