My Third Class & Pointe

My third class was this week, after my double class the week before.  I was 100% on Monday after being extremely sore, so I was practicing my barre work in the kitchen.  Class Wednesday was  very rewarding, I've already increased in strength tremendously, but I still can't come up out of grand plié without having to awkwardly pull myself up with the barre. Everyone else in my class can do it, so it just makes me more determined to get up to par with my classmates.

We did the same allegro (fast)  piece as the first class, and I'm extremely happy to report it was 10x easier for me to do the combination. I remembered the whole thing, I was dancing on autopilot, and I was able to think about my facial expression and refined aspects of the piece.

The adagio (slow) combination was similar to the one before, and I was able to complete it to the teachers standards.

It's really difficult to stop thinking about the other girls in the class. Sometimes I catch myself watching them during the center work to remember the movements, instead of remembering them myself. When I force myself to concentrate on me, I am able to perform much better. It's hard to let go of your self consciousness and really allow yourself to extend and push, but it is so liberating. Most other people in my class have dancer bodies, and it makes me feel a little huge. I'm already unusually tall, which doesn't help. The truth is, I'm perfectly capable of remembering combinations, I need to trust that I know the terms and can execute them like everyone else.

When I do watch other girls in the class perform during our individual and small group performances for the teacher, I can see that despite a few extra pounds I'm better at certain things than some of the stick figures in class. My arms, neck, and shoulders are extremely graceful. When I apply myself, I have beautiful extension. When I'm in full relieve leaning back with just my rib cage, I look strong and controlled. That said, my leg flexibility is embarrassing. My pirouettes are mostly unbalalanced. My thighs and core betray me in held poses and grand plies.  But, I can see small bursts of something special in me that I thought I'd lost.

After class, my teacher asked me if I'd be interested in taking pointe with my class. There are only a few people that have done pointe before, the rest are complete beginners. Again my teacher told me that I have beautiful technique, and tat she thinks it would be more of a benefit for me to join my class than to not. I was completely floored and flattered at her recommendation.  I immediately said that I was interested.  She told me to get fitted for pointe shoes and join my class next week in the pointe class.  I spoke with the director, who told me she approves as long as I'm very careful in class.  She told me that she can tell I'm able to make appropriate changes to combinations to match my ability, and is confident that I'll be able to tell if I'm pushing too far in pointe class.

Initially I was very excited, but sitting here today, I'm having my doubts.  I'm sure I could determine if something is out of my ability level during pointe class.  Pointe is what I want to do, it's my main goal for returning to ballet.  I want to get good enough that I can perform in a recital en pointe. On the other hand, I JUST started up again after years of sporadic physical activity that didn't include dance.  I was SO sore after my first classes, I could hardly walk.  Granted I'm not sore per say after last class, but I can feel my muscles and tendons and ligaments adjusting to the new movement. So I'm torn.  I have an appointment to get fitted for pointe shoes on Monday, but I'm considering cancelling it.

As far as I can tell, I have two options. 

1.  Get fitted for pointe shoes, and very cautiously join my class, doing what I know I can handle.

2.  Wait until the spring semester and reconsider.  Research other studios and take a few ala carte classes on my off nights to get more practice in. 


I'm planning on calling the teacher and asking her opinion.  I don't want to hurt myself.  We shall see, we shall see.  Either way, I'm going to pair ballet class with swimming at the gym for some low impact full body exercise.  I think it will really help me tone up quickly and drop some extra weight, and I love swimming laps.  It's so liberating!  The hot tub isn't bad either!

Speaking of the gym, on Friday I went to the gym after calling to see if the class studio was empty.  They have a nice dance floor and mirrored walls, so it was a perfect place to practice on my own.  I went in, warmed up, and felt very self conscious.  I wore my tights and shoes, but with a pair of shorts and a shirt I can move in.  The self consciousness came from the fact that the walls are glass, so everyone in the gym can see me practicing.  It's like I'm performing for everyone in the gym, and ballet dancers aren't frequent guests where I hold membership.

It was very interesting.  I was able to practice the things I desperately need to improve.  The gym doesn't have any barres, so I practiced slowly in the center until I was warmed up, and then I mostly practiced pirouettes.  In class mine are not good.  They are wobbly and a little out of control.  I always over spin in a single piroutette and can't stop gracefully.  I worked on keeping control and stopping after just one perfect rotation, rather than spinning and jumping awkwardly to regain balance.

Normally I'm much more comfortable doing pirouettes to the right, while turning on my left supporting leg.  In doing some in depth practice, I learned that this is actually my weakest side.  I think I felt as though this was my good side, because it used to be my good side when I was a kid.  Now I have come to learn that my right ankle is stronger, and I can do really nice single and double pirouettes to the left with much better balance. 

I think the best way to get better is to continue practicing on my own and to explore additional classes outside of my existing studio.  I don't know how long it would have taken me to realize in class that my right side is in fact weaker, as the time spent practicing pirouettes in class is only about 10 minutes out of our 1hr 15 minute class.

In hindsight, I wish I had recorded my practice session so I could watch it now.  I'll record them moving forward and maybe even share the videos on here!  I keep meaning to take pictures, but I never remember until after I'm done and at home decompressing.

So this was a long post, but it was much needed.  Happy dancing! 

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